
We’ve all seen the headline
That reality was highlighted recently in the nationally representative “iFidelity Survey”, which explored the prevalence of financial deception in marriage. Of 946 respondents, 58% said they had financially deceived their spouse at some point. The most typical form of deception was hiding a minor purchase from their spouse (44%), followed by hiding cash (31%) and lying about something financial (28%). More serious forms of deception were much less common but still prevalent. Between 12-15% of respondents said they had hidden a bank account, credit card, loan or major purchase from their spouse.
But whether minor or more serious in nature, the iFidelity study found that any financial deception in marriage was related to marital quality and happiness. While 62% of respondents who did not report any financial deception from their spouse were likely to be very happy in their marriage, only 36% of respondents who reported that their spouse had financially deceived them were likely to be very happy. They were also much less confident that their marriage would not end in divorce. Only 33% of those who reported financial deception thought divorce was unlikely compared to 62% of those who reported no financial deception.
As expected, more serious forms of deception predicted greater challenges for marital quality. But even those reporting minor forms of deception, such has hiding a minor purchase, were 9% less likely to be very happy in their marriages compared to those whose spouse had not hid a minor purchase.
The iFidelity findings did not explore why financial deception happens so often in marriage. What research
How we use money is also strongly shaped by the “meanings of money
Pooling money and making financial decisions with a spouse can also be difficult because it exposes aspects of our character – our level of materialism, personal responsibility, work ethic, charity, and honesty. Risking the possibility of being questioned or criticized about how we spend money can feel threatening because it may expose our character. The conflict that emerges touches on much more than just the money being discussed.
Shared decision making about money can also reveal inequality in the decision-making
Even given these challenges, studies
This article was originally published in the Deseret News.